deirfiur: (counting the steps to the door ;;)
[Filter: Franelcrew]

Why is everyone -- it's just a door! There doesn't even seem to be anything there with ... unless it's something I can't see? Patience, can you see anything? Maybe it's like the mist monsters not bothering us, or maybe it's just something that only appears to them?

Well, no, it can't be the second, because Nessa looks like she's going to be sick ... so it's not just them.

What is everyone seeing in here? What's wrong? Crionna -- she can't see anything wrong either! Though I guess even if she could, she wouldn't, um, be much help right now.
deirfiur: (to the beat of a drum ;;)
[Filter: Crionna, in Danaan]


I'm going to be honest, I'm really sorry if I can't keep my head clear today. Suaimeas and I did something a little stupid and shortsighted last night, and everything that happened was just ...

Ugh. Stop thinking about it. I can feel the migraine coming on now.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. It's nothing we didn't already know. But combined with everything coming on tomorrow ...

I don't suppose you have anything to say that would make me feel better.
deirfiur: (they come they come ;;)
[Filter: Franelcrew]


So I guess it's just me!

Patience and I have visions. It's a lot like Megami mediums. That's how we found out about what was going to happen in Megam before, and that's how we tried to stop it. So we were trying to get visions about what's going to happen on Sunday! We flew over the Citadel, that's how we've done it before, and tried to touch the stones.

Then we just -- had visions. More than before. More detailed than before. But -- nothing about Sunday. Nothing. Instead ...

I guess it's just what you already know. The seals. Giving way and the entire world just -- just ...


We don't know how it works. We don't know if we could have stopped what was happening in Megam. Maybe it was always inevitable. I don't know! Neither of us know!

After that -- it was just the glooms. The Between. I don't think that has to do with anything but there was this gigantic -- massive gloom, the size of a city, of ten cities, and it was hungry and dying, but ... but I don't even know what that was supposed to mean. I don't know why I even had a vision about that.

Maybe Patience is right and you didn't need to know this. I don't know. Maybe it's just going to make it miserable. But I -- don't want to sit here knowing it alone. And you can probably help stop it. And it really doesn't have anything to do with Sunday.
deirfiur: (to the beat of a drum ;;)
[Filter: Suaimeas, in Danaan]

What do we tell them?

I don't know how much they even need to know! Do we tell them about the seals? We can't tell them how many -- the people we saw. The places we saw. Rina's inn ... Riva. Everywhere. Just falling apart. If we tell them all of that it's going to be ...

If we tell them everything, it's just going to make everything worse for them. They'll assume it's because of them. They'll think that whatever happens Sunday is going to be what causes ...

And maybe it is!

That didn't tell us anything! Not about what we wanted to know!

[a long pause]

[Filter: Franelcrew, in Trade]

Hi ...

When everyone's up, I think we need to talk, okay?
deirfiur: (there is freedom without ;;)
[Filter: Crionna, in Danaan]

Sorry. I imagine I probably feel really ... shaky right now. The connection is a little delicate. I can feel it. It's just ...

I just keep thinking about Sunday. What's going to happen. To them and to you. Me. Us. Suaimeas told me what he said Suaimeas said could happen to you. He said it wasn't likely, but that doesn't make it any less terrifying.

I'm sorry. I can feel the ache now. I'm trying to hold onto it. I need to be strong. Like you are. Like I used to be, I guess.

I ... Suaimeas is asking Suaimeas about some of our other friends. I could ask you, too, but you'd probably tell me the same thing, so ... I don't know. I just don't know what's left. I don't have a lot of specific questions anymore, just because -- everything you've told me has gone places I couldn't even imagine, anymore. I could never have come up with any questions about any of this stuff.

What now?
deirfiur: (to the beat of a drum ;;)
[Filter: Suaimeas, in Danaan]

I don't want to tell them about the elder stones.

I've started thinking maybe Crionna was right and I just don't understand them since -- since, well, I didn't know any of this! I don't know anything about how Danu gave them to us or how they're a sign of our bond with her or ... or anything like that. But I think she's telling the truth. You can't lie to yourself, right? Or, at least, not without letting yourself know that something is wrong. That you're hiding something. And she'd have no reason to.

I do think they're safe.

Don't ... read this wrong, though. It still makes my skin crawl. Thinking that our stones are holding tiny pieces of glares and glooms, that were -- gigantic, or small and sleek, or had a form better suited to water. And that we're just ... putting on their masks, so to speak. Using them as costumes to change how we manifest.

But I don't think they need to know any of that. I think it'd make them ten thousand times more uncomfortable than it made us ... and I don't think they'd understand.

[Filter: Franelcrew, in Trade]


I don't think I'm as good at organizing my thoughts as Suaimeas is, so ... so I'm just going to start writing, and hope that I've remembered everything.

Back before the war, the entire old empire that Kilia used to be the center of ... it was all built on aurae. Aurae is ... special. It amplifies magic, but it also blocks magic, and even just resonates with magic. You all know how strong and unique aurae is. There's nothing like it anywhere else in the world, not anymore. Then, when the glares and glooms started tearing down the world ...

The only thing they couldn't touch was aurae.

But at the same time, they were drawn to it, because of the resonance. They wanted the aurae, but they couldn't do anything to change it, or destroy it, or even corrupt it. Regular magic they would feed on and turn against you, but aurae was completely impervious to whatever else they could do. But they still wanted it. And one day, Ferdiad realized that he could use it against them. Trap them inside aurae. And then the glares and glooms, even the ones they couldn't kill, would be stuck forever, and wouldn't be reborn at all. Ever again. They would eagerly go after the aurae and then be stuck within it, unable to carve their way out or even do anything to it at all.

There's ... there's one other thing.

"Aesdana" means children of Danu. I know we've talked before about how she took us in. How everyone else thought we were monsters that should just die, but Danu wanted to protect us. And use us against the glares and glooms. And, well, obviously she did, but ...

But she's like our mother. The mother of our entire people. I don't know how much that matters. But I want to let you know that ... that's why all the aesdana can't agree on what they think about you. And why they're so heartbroken about Danu ... changing. About her no longer being the person she was, back when she took us under her protection.

Suaimeas has other things to say. He learned a lot about -- about where the Clerics sent everyone, to make up the world you know now. How those people were shaped by the people after the war, thousands of years ago. And more about how the aesdana ... how we were supposed to keep the two worlds in line. Make sure everything that happened in one also happened in the other.

I don't know all the details. We just went over it with each other. But that's what I learned today.
deirfiur: (try to catch the deluge in a paper cup ;)
[Filter: Crionna, in Danaan]

Okay. I'm trying hard to be more organized today. I still have a lot of questions -- but I've accepted that you're not going to talk to me about ... about Danu's "side project." You probably don't even know the details of it. I probably wouldn't in your shoes.

Today, we'll stick to your schedule, all right? I know you probably planned out with Suaimeasjust what each of you needed to talk about. So I'm going to let you go ahead, and I'm going to try really hard to keep my head clear and not get off track.
deirfiur: (to the beat of a drum ;;)
[Filter: Franelcrew]

I need some tea. My head ...

I don't know what Elliot told you about what we were doing, but -- but we have a lot to tell you. Patience and I both. Things we leaned about the world, from ... from our other selves. I don't know if it'll help us very much yet, but -- but my head hurts too much to try and speak with Crionna again, right now. I bet she probably feels the same way.

Patience and I are fine. Our heads are just killing us. Both of us ...
deirfiur: (they come they come ;;)

I can almost feel her and she just keeps ignoring me! I can almost see her turning away! I almost feel her but she's not bothering to reach back. How am I supposed to do this if she doesn't reach back? The entire point of this is that you can't do it by yourself!

Look, other Crionna!

I know you're there. I can almost see you. I can hear you, louder than anyone else, and I feel how annoyed you are by all of this, but look, I'm probably just as frustrated as you. In fact, I'm probably more frustrated. You don't have to deal with someone refusing to help you on the other side! Oh, I'm sure it must be just awful feeling me reach for you. I'm sure it's very inconvenient!

I have had it with you not helping!

I am going to use this thing all night if I have to and I swear I will make this work all by myself if I have to. You can keep ignoring me. I'm going to rip down this wall between us with my fingers if I have to!!

Now, listen to me!
deirfiur: (there is freedom without ;;)
[Filter: Private, in Danaan]

It was meant to help us. That's obvious. Trying to worm around her rules to give us a hint.

If I go back to what I was like before we left .... I was so bossy all the time, wasn't I? I used to boss Patience around all the time. We would still argue but I was so sure I was right, and I was so convinced that nobody could drag me out of it. It was like that up until ...

I wonder. If Patience and I hadn't been taken by those people, would ... would I be more like I used to?

Or maybe it was Rina. Dentoria. Aelbhe made a whole point of talking about how different Dentoria is. And it is, isn't it? People talk differently. They behave differently. They expect different things from you and it's not like I could be bossy there. I went from being out in the middle of nowhere with Patience to being with Rina and her family. I was a guest. You don't tell people what to do or expect to get your way when you're a guest. And it's an inn. You're supposed to help people. Listen to them, get them what they need. Nod and smile.

What was I like before?

What would I have been like if I was still that person? And if everyone had told me how important I was?


I would be proud.

But can I be proud enough to reach her?
deirfiur: (try to catch the deluge in a paper cup ;)
[Filter: Private, in Danaan]

I hope that she stopped being able to tell me anything because I was on the right track. I keep thinking about what she said. I was chosen for how I was back then. So maybe it's important to think of it ... like a second half of myself. A half I just never knew about. Instead of thinking about it as an extra self. Thinking about it as something extra I have to put together ... that's a lot harder than thinking about it as a piece of myself that I just never knew about.

I'll try again later today.

[Filter: Raetha and Ally, in Trade]

I'm surprised more people haven't been talking about you arriving. Maybe they think it's a hoax? Or maybe they didn't see. I guess they might be talking in private ...

Are things a little calmer yet? I mean, no hurry. I just wanted to ... you know, catch up.
deirfiur: (to the beat of a drum ;;)
[Filter: Raetha and Ally]

Is it really you? I mean, it has to be! Anybody else who would try this would have to be -- crazy. Are you -- how are --

I thought I'd never see you again! Or get to talk to you, anyway, I guess this isn't really --

I'm so glad you're all right. If, um, if it is really you.
deirfiur: (try to catch the deluge in a paper cup ;)
[Filter: Suaimeas, in Danaan]

Do you feel anything reaching back when you try it? I keep trying to just dive into it like Aelbhe says, to ... to reach across, but it feels like I'm hitting a brick wall. Like whoever's on the other side doesn't even know I'm trying! I know Aelbhe said they know everything, but maybe she misunderstood. Maybe the other versions of -- us don't actually know that we're trying now. Maybe they thought it would be later! Maybe they thought it would be earlier. It just feels like ... like reaching into emptiness. Into the fog.

[Filter: Franelcrew, in Trade]

Does anybody want to go walk by the citadel? I know you can't get close to it, but there's a hill in town that if you walk up, you can see all the jewels on the roof glittering just perfectly in the, um, what sunlight gets through. I can show it to you, if you want. The entire grounds around it is ... super guarded, though. I mean, not that we're going there yet, anyway.

I'm just not getting anything else done so ...
deirfiur: (to the beat of a drum ;;)
[Filter: Suaimeas, in Danaan]

Did you -- did you feel anything? I mean, I'm sure you would have told me if it worked, or I'd hope you would say something! But ... well ... I don't know, who knows how long it's going to take to do anything! To reach these ... other selves of ours.

But I don't know, maybe it's going to be easier now that we know what that totem is for. And maybe Aelbhe found some more ways to help you out!

So ...

Did you have any luck?
deirfiur: (there is freedom without ;;)
[Filter: Suaimeas, in Danaan]

Are you all right? You look like -- you look sick. Like you've been knocked around the head a few times. That ...

That form.

It's like the mist monsters. Bigger, but. Um. It makes me worry that -- that maybe they have something to do with us? Ever since -- ever since that time at the well, I kept thinking ... they never attack us normally! Why would they have come after us then? And I just thought well, it was the Day of Mists ...

But maybe there's more to it?

I don't know.

I keep going over this letter. Do you think we should show it to Amalea? Tell her what it says?
deirfiur: (there is freedom without ;;)
[Filter: Franelcrew and Doolin]

Is everybody awake?

We all need to talk about what happened. And about what we're going to do about Lionel. We should all meet at the inn ... it's got the most room.

If you're still feeling sick from what Searlait did, Patience or I can come help you. We need to
figure out what you're doing. And if Celeste is ready, we need to have her scry for the pendant.

Hurry. As soon as you're awake. We don't have any time to waste.
deirfiur: (they come they come ;;)
[Filter: Franelcrew + Doolin]

He's gone. Lionel. She took him.

Who's still awake? Is anybody still awake? I saw a few of you writing before we went out there. Did she put you to sleep when she was singing just now?

Is anyone alert enough to talk about this?
deirfiur: (they come they come ;;)
[Filter: Patience, in Kilian]

Saoirse says you should get Iseult roses. She said Iseult definitely likes you and is cooking for you tomorrow.

I'll talk to Labhri.

[Filter: Labhri, in Kilian]

You should cook for Lawrence instead.
deirfiur: (to build a wall between us ;;)
[Filter: Saoirse, in Kilian]



I needed to make sure of something. Do you know if Iseult is going to cook for my brother? It's just hat -- I'm pretty sure that he's not going to get anything for her, and I really don't want her to be embarrassed ... I know it can be embarrassing! That's all. And I really want to spare her that ...

Can you, um, tell her? We I thought it might be better for her to hear it from a friend ...
deirfiur: (there is freedom without ;;)
[Filter: Franelcrew and Doolin, except Eabh and Gabe]

The monsters almost came through again last night. I watched and watched, but ... I didn't see any signs of Searlait. I watched for a long time after they went back into the trees, too ... nothing. I couldn't -- really stay up all night, so I went to bed, and if she came after that ...

But nobody's missing this morning, right?
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